Laying in bed looking at the ceiling and so many thoughts be going through my head. I’m at that point in my life where I should have my priorities in order, sadly that’s not the case. My constant rapid thinking is fucking me over. Football, School, Social Life, and overall myself. I learn more about myself on a regular. I always stop and take three steps to analyze myself and anything that i put myself into. I promised myself I’d become nonchalant about my thoughts, but how can I there is just so much going on in my head that keeps knocking on my wall connecting me to reality. It’s funny how things are one way in life and now it totally changes. Who knew that it would’ve happened? I can honestly say I didn’t see it coming. Funny how shit flies. Shit doesn’t always go the way you hope. You just gotta keep yourself moving. Funny I got my cards dealt on some funny type of shit. I sit and look at my thoughts and then I laugh because it goes back to show that life is funny. No one will understand my mind, if someone had to see through my thoughts I wonder if they would be able to understand how i am who i am. I can’t explain my actions my decisions or anything to anyone. It snapped in my head that no one will ever know how much i do and how hard i work. Been called a lot of things bad friend, ass, dick, bad athlete, failure, mistake, follower, gonna end up being stupid, snake, etc. Lmaoooo it’s priceless niggas won’t know all I’ve done lol. I can’t tell if I’m angry or telling it how it is. Lmaoooo sigh my mind kills.
Being used as a fucking mule is one thing but being forced to go against one of your siblings is another. Forced to be a middle man and getting cussed by two people, shit I was just on point today.
Gonna play Xbox 360 till my face turns purple.